I Am Not My Behavior

I am not my behavior. Your behavior is something that you do, it’s not who you are. Who you are is not your behavior, it’s something you do. Your behavior is a habit (something repeatedly practiced) and now becomes a programmed response.

In the very first session with my Executive Clients, this is one of the first distinctions I share with them. We are not our behaviors.

During the first coaching conversation, the clients tell me all about their challenges, problems, and unproductive behaviors that no longer serve them.

After listening for 20-30 minutes, I will ask if there is anything else you would like to share. Generally, they say there is, but that’s enough for now. Then they will say to me half-jokingly, “Do you think there is any hope for me?”.

I smile back at them and say, “From where I sit, I think that you are perfectly ok!”. They quickly respond, haven’t you been listening to a word I’ve said Paul, for the last 30 min?

I will then go into a very powerful explanation of the computer analogy.

You Are Like A Computer

A wonderful analogy to bring this point home is that of a computer. When you last purchased a computer and took it out of its box, could you immediately start to work on it?

No…

The hard drive of the computer doesn’t have any programs loaded onto it yet! You need to set it up with all your favorite programs so you are able to work on it.

Once you have your Microsoft programs, CRM program, Zoom program, and all the other programs installed, you’re able to work on it confidently. Until that point, it’s just a computer with an empty hard drive.

It’s exactly the same with us humans. When we are born into the world we don’t have any programs yet, to be able to function.

Programs like:

• Walking
• Talking
• Eating
• Communicating
• Learning
• Money program
• Relationship program
• Health Program

The list is extensive, especially as we get older and add more programs.

Our parents take on the responsibility to teach us (program us) with many useful programs so we are able to navigate life for the next 60-100 years. If we don’t have these programs, how would we ever survive?

Walking for example is a subconscious program (All programs exist in our subconscious mind) we all develop around the age of 2 years old. Then we are able to walk for the rest of our lives, without even thinking of it, which you would have to agree is super helpful, isn’t it?

We operate our lives 95% of the time via our subconscious mind (5% conscious mind) which is the storehouse of all our programs. Many of our programs are not known by our conscious mind. They run undetected.

You could say we are somewhat like a robot operating all these different programs.

This is great if we are running positive programs because when the program is activated it will produce positive results in our lives.

What if some of our subconscious programs (Acquired 0-7 years of age) are negative and were creating negative results in our lives and we didn’t even know it was our subconscious program causing the negative results?

Once we develop our conscious mind (7 + years of age) we are now responsible and able to program our subconscious mind with programs that will match our conscious desires.

The Conscious Mind Is The Goal Setter

Our conscious mind is the goal setter. It is the logical, reasoning, and creative mind that sets all our goals.

It’s the mind that says, I want to find the love of my life, I want to lose 60lbs, I want to start my own business. I want to travel to Europe, I want to stop being so angry, and I want peace of mind.

It’s this conscious mind that decides what to focus on in our lives.

So why is it that many people can not achieve the goals that they set? Why is it that what you say I WANT TO… never materializes in our reality? Or if it does materialize, it’s only for a short time, until things get back to normal again.

It’s because the conscious mind is the goal setter and the subconscious mind is the goal-getter.

The Subconscious Mind Is The Goal-Getter

The programs we have in our subconscious mind will override and win every time all desires of our conscious mind unless they are a match.

Please reread that very important sentence a few more times.

We don’t get what we want, we get how we are programmed.

Let’s look at an example to clarify.

Imagine if during your childhood (0-7 years of age) you received or interpreted messages from your parents that you were not good enough, not lovable, and not worthy.

You now have a subconscious program of I’m not lovable/worthy/good enough.

Your life experience is that you have always chosen a partner who treated you badly, didn’t respect you, and so on. This result is confirming your limiting belief program of how you see yourself.

Life is like a mirror, reflecting back to us how we are programmed.

Even though your conscious mind wants to meet a loving, respectful, partner, while you’re running the subconscious program (I’m not good enough) about yourself, it will never happen. If it does, it will be short-lived.

Our Subconscious mind is one of integrity, in as much that, It will honor all your subconscious programs and beliefs. It’s not a moral mind. If it’s in your subconscious mind, it will produce the relevant results no matter what.

If you don’t like the results that you are getting in one or more areas of your life and have had the problem for a long time, there is a good chance that your conscious desires are conflicting with your subconscious programs.

We need to get to work on re-programing our subconscious minds to reflect our conscious desires.

I Am Not My Behavior

Now that you know that you are not your behavior and you are so much more than that.

If you do have some behaviors (Subconscious Programs) that are delivering all the wrong results in your life, you can schedule a call with me and we can get to the real cause of your challenge in our Executive Coaching Service.

If you want to take all the stress out of your life due to corrupted programs playing out in your career, relationships, health, communication, or any other area of your life and live a more happy and flow-based life, let’s chat.

Schedule a call now…

Paul Simos is an accomplished Executive Life Coach, Health Coach & Certified Trainer.
He has a fundamental belief about his clients which frames how they work together i.e. they already have everything they need to achieve success. His role as a coach is to stimulate and challenge his clients to unlock their successful beliefs, skills, and behavior patterns.

Free Masterclass Training, How To Get More Successful Outcomes In Your Professional & Personal Relationships… By Saying “NO” (The Right Way)…