Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

“We Are What We Believe We Are.” – C.S. Lewis

Beliefs are powerful subconscious programs that influence our thoughts, words, behaviors, and life outcomes.

Our beliefs drive the bus of our lives. Beliefs determine what we focus on, what we are capable of, and whether we will limit or enhance our potential.

Limiting beliefs will shut the door to your potential and hinder your growth and personal development.

If you say, “I’m not a public speaker”, you stop yourself from trying because whatever you say, “I am” too, is part of your identity. While we identify with not being a public speaker, we close the door to all positive growth in this area.

Beliefs shape our reality, filter how we see the world and its content, and reflect our beliefs.

In this article, we will discover how to identify your limiting beliefs in the different areas of your life as a starting place to unlock your full potential.

Let’s go ahead and jump in.

What Are Limiting Beliefs?

A limiting belief is a state of mind or conviction that restricts you.

It’s a thought or idea you hold to be true that negatively affects your life by limiting the possibilities available.

Following are a few limiting beliefs.

Limiting Beliefs:

• “I’m not smart enough to get the promotion.”
• “I can’t succeed in this field.”
• “I’m an introvert/extravert”.
• “I’m not a confident person”.
• “I’m the type of person who can’t lose weight”.

These are a few limiting beliefs that can negatively affect our lives. We will not take advantage of opportunities if we continue to hold these beliefs.

Where do our limiting beliefs come from?

Limiting beliefs often stem from past experiences, societal conditioning, or negative self-perceptions and can prevent you from pursuing goals, taking risks, or realizing your full potential.

We receive our very first beliefs from our parents and caregivers when we are between 0 and 7 years old. We download these beliefs (subconsciously) that will serve as a foundation for the rest of our lives.

We have no choice in what we receive (beliefs) because our conscious mind (logical/reasoning mind) only starts to develop and function at 7+ years old.

No one was born with limiting beliefs; we learned them through repetition. This means we can unlearn them.

Once we are set up with these beliefs, people rarely change them; they instead live their lives by them!

Unless we proactively and consciously upgrade our belief system, we will create a life based on our initial childhood beliefs.

How to Identify our Limiting Beliefs.

It can be challenging to identify our limiting beliefs. I struggled a lot with this one previously.

Our beliefs are so much part of our identity that we are so familiar with them that we can’t even recognise them. They are who we are.

In a quiet pond, two fish swam side by side, enjoying the morning sunlight filtering through the water.

“Good morning!” said the first fish, his scales glistening in the light.

“Morning,” replied the second fish, distracted as he swam in lazy circles.

After a moment of silence, the first fish asked, “Do you ever think about the water?”

The second fish stopped and looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“The water,” the first fish repeated. “The stuff all around us. We swim in it every day.”

The second fish furrowed his brow, still confused. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about. What’s water?”

The first fish was taken aback. “You know, the water! It’s everywhere. It’s what we live in.”

The second fish laughed. “You’re being silly. I’ve never seen this ‘water’ you’re talking about. We’re just here, swimming. There’s nothing else.”

The first fish smiled, realizing the second fish’s perspective. “I guess it’s easy to miss something when it’s always there,” he said gently.

As they continued to swim, the first fish marvelled at how something so vital and omnipresent could go unnoticed. It reminded him of the unseen, essential things in life that often go unappreciated simply because they are always there.

And so, the two fish swam on, one aware of the water surrounding them and the other blissfully ignorant, both content in their way.

Over the years, I’ve discovered various techniques for identifying our limiting beliefs easily.

Here are a few we can work with:

• Self-reflection:

This is a great self-awareness practice for identifying limiting beliefs. Slowing down, breathing, and reflecting on who we are can help us notice things. We can see things about ourselves that we never saw before.

The key here is to SLOW DOWN so all the internal noise and chatter subsides.

Self-reflection is like meditation. We slow everything down and go within. We go within and discover who we are on a deeper level. Now, we can connect the dots, reflect on who we are, and uncover possible limiting beliefs.

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom”. – Socrates

In your self-reflection, ask yourself, what areas of my life could be much better? What are my beliefs in these areas of my life? What am I doing regularly in my life that doesn’t bear fruit? What habits and or behaviors are pulling me down?

Take some time from your busy schedule and go within with self-reflection. Become a Sherlock Holmes and put a magnifying glass to your life with love and curiosity.

• Journaling:

Journaling is another great way of putting all your thoughts on paper for you to see and reflect upon. It is a more tangible process. Some people prefer to write rather than only reflect.

Once you have journaled for some time, you will start to recognise patterns and themes that will help you discover who you are on a deeper level.

Once again, looking back and joining the dots can unveil some limiting beliefs you never knew existed.

The journaling will also reduce the internal chatter that distracts us from observing our true selves.

Choose a time that best suits your schedule. Hide yourself away and make it a sacred practice. Your future self will love you for it.

• Seeking Feedback From Others:

We can more easily identify limiting beliefs in others than ourselves if we know what to look for.

You can engage a mentor or coach, a professional who can help you quickly identify any limiting beliefs holding you back.

As a coach who has worked with clients and their beliefs for over 15 years, I can quickly identify limiting beliefs through a Powerful Coaching Conversation.

We can reveal limiting beliefs by capturing certain keywords in the conversation.

Trusting in a professional skilled at identifying limiting beliefs is another powerful way to uncover your limiting beliefs.

Real-Life Example:

A few years ago, we saw a powerful example of a limiting belief being exposed in one of our Leadership Communication Workshops.

John (not his real name) was building an online business, intending to sell it and become a millionaire within 5 years.

During one of the breaks, John exposed a limiting belief while chatting over coffee and cakes.

In the middle of a discussion, John said, “I hate these rich people with their big cars taking up all the space on the road”.

John exposed an inner and deep limiting belief that he hates rich people. If John hates rich people, he is limiting himself to becoming wealthy.

John will never become a millionaire while harbouring a limiting belief about wealthy people in his subconscious mind. Wealth would be fleeting if he became wealthy and kept the same beliefs through chance and hard work.

This limiting belief is a roadblock to John’s growth and development.

Whatever beliefs are in our subconscious mind will win over any goal we articulate from our conscious mind.

Our conscious mind is the GOAL SETTER, and our subconscious mind is the GOAL GETTER.

Our subconscious mind and its programming will win every time.

When our conscious mind’s goals align with our subconscious mind’s beliefs, we immediately increase our odds of achieving our goal.

Listen up:

As part of the goal-setting process, we want to ensure that our 2 minds are aligned.

If they are not aligned, it doesn’t matter how hard you work; goal achievement will never last or be achieved.

CLUE: If you’ve been working too hard for too long with little success, it’s time to examine your beliefs about that area of your life. You could be fighting against a limiting belief.

Imagine if you had a goal to see a sunset (conscious mind) and a limiting belief (subconscious mind) that the sun sets in the east. You can work very hard to make your way to the East, but you will only see the sunset if you change your limiting beliefs (subconscious mind) and change directions.

CASE STUDY PETER – Identifying and Overcoming Limiting Beliefs.

Peter (not his real name) came to see me a few years ago. Peter is a competent professional Executive working for a multinational company based in Vietnam.

He was doing well (could be doing better) in his career from an external perspective. Internally, it was a different story.

Peter was plagued with several negative thoughts and emotions.

Thoughts and emotions like:

• I’m not good enough
• Colleagues are judging me
• Fear of failure
• Low self-esteem / low confidence
• Anxiety and worry

Further into our coaching sessions, we uncovered deep limiting beliefs from Peter’s childhood that were triggering negative thoughts and emotions.

Limiting beleifs like:

• I’m not good enough
• Don’t shine when you are successful
• Be modest about your talents and achievements
• Don’t stand out

These limiting beliefs were stopping Peter from excelling further in his career as an executive. He was conflicted (Internal Conflict) about creating success as a professional executive and living up to his childhood’s limiting beliefs.

These limiting beliefs also negatively impacted Peters’s personal life. Peter wanted to get married and have children. In his current state, Peter could not feel confident and worthy enough to attract, maintain, and enjoy a loving relationship.

His limiting beliefs were hampering his progress.

We worked together weekly for several months, identifying and overcoming Peter’s limiting beliefs. We dismantled his erroneous limiting beliefs through some very powerful NLP interventions (hypnotherapy, belief change intervention).

Then, we created powerful, empowering beliefs that would better serve Peter and his professional and personal goals.

Long story short.

While still working in Vietnam, you will be very happy to know that Peter met a lovely lady and married her. He has since moved to Europe and now has 2 wonderful children, and he is excelling in his career.

If Peter had not corrected his limiting beliefs, his life could have turned out completely different.

Are you living a life different from the life you want to live?

Wrapping Up

Please don’t underestimate the power of LIMITING BELIEFS.

Choose one area of your life—business, finances, health, or relationships—that has been a drag for some time and is not working for you.

Make a list and identify your limiting beliefs in that area of your life. Use the tools discussed in this article:

• Self-reflection
• Journaling
• Seeking Feedback From Others

Now that you have a list of one, two, three, or more limiting beliefs in that area, it’s time to replace them with more empowering beliefs.

In next week’s Newsletter, Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs, we will look at a few ways to dismantle our limiting beliefs and build a foundation of empowering beliefs.

Alternatively, you can start immediately by booking a few sessions with your coach. Your coach will support you in identifying and changing a limiting belief into an empowering belief through an NLP Belief Change Intervention and Hypnotherapy.

The good thing is that you already know how to identify your limiting beliefs by reading this article.

Have a great week, and see you next week.

Remember, I’m always here.

Paul Simos is an accomplished Executive Life Coach, Health Coach, and Certified Trainer. His fundamental belief about his clients frames how they work together: They already have everything they need to succeed. His role as a coach is stimulating and challenging his clients to unlock their successful beliefs, skills, and behaviour patterns. LinkedIn.

Resources:

1) Complimentary Powerful Coaching Conversation – Free discovery session
2) Read 100 Books Goal 2024 – My goal for 2024
3) Power Move Habits E-Book – Morning & evening routines
4) How I Ensure Coaching Excellence For Every Client – Last Week’s Newsletter