How To Change Your Personality

How to change your personality. Recently I delivered a half-day corporate training and one of the attendees mentioned that he had just completed a personality profile assessment. He wasn’t happy because it turned out that he was identified as being an introvert when he wants to be more of an extrovert.

Personality Isn’t Permanent

Personality isn’t permanent. Many people are under the impression that our personality is fixed and permanent and we can’t change it. This is not the case, this is not my experience.

When we take a personality profile assessment it measures where we are at that particular point in time. It’s a measurement of who we are NOW.

It’s a starting place to see where and how we are showing up. From this starting place, we can then decide who we want to be in our personality and get to work creating it.

Benjamin Hardy Ph.D. wrote the book, Personality Isn’t Permanent, which goes into a lot more detail and is a must-read.

Many years ago I could be classed as an introvert. Definitely down that end of the scale. Now I’ve moved further up, not at but closer to the extrovert end of the scale. I can move from one end to the other depending on my environment and what I’m doing.

Personality, our identity, definitely isn’t permanent. We have the ability to change it if that is what we want.

So when I mentioned this to the attendee in my recent corporate training class, who thought personality was permanent, was so happy, he was so excited, to learn he was in control of it and it’s not fixed.

So now that we know, personality isn’t permanent, how do we go about changing our personality?

How To Change Your Personality

To make it very simple and doable I’ve come up with 3 easy steps you can follow:

Step 1: Mindset Shift

Whatever we say I AM too, we make it part of our identity, who we are.

I AM….

• Introverted
• Extroverted
• Lazy
• Tired
• Sad
• Angry
• Wealthy
• Poor
• Healthy
• Unhealthy

 

That’s just who I AM, we say. When we speak like this it does sound and feel, very heavy and permanent, but it’s not.

Instead of saying I AM introverted….

We say…..

I AM doing the actions (behavior) of an introvert.

Now it’s not so much who we are BUT what we are doing. We can always change what we are doing, it doesn’t feel so fixed, heavy, and permanent when we look at it this way.

The psychology of changing behavior is much lighter than trying to change who I AM, and my identity.

So step 1 is to turn the personality trait (identity) you don’t want into the behavior of something you do.

Instead of saying, I AM an introvert, we say, I AM doing the actions of an introvert.

Step 2: Identify The Personality Trait (behavior) You Do Want

What do you want? What personality trait do you admire in another that you want to make part of your personality, or identity?

We use the example of the introvert who wants to be more extroverted.

We have now identified that we want to be more extroverted.

This is normally an easy step because all we have to do in most cases is think of the opposite of what we don’t want.

Don’t want to be an introvert and I do want to be an extrovert.

Step 3: Identify & Practice The New Behavior

Now we know we want to be more extroverted in our personality we need to identify the behavior of an extrovert.

Back to the attendee in my corporate training. When he realized that he could change from an introvert to an extrovert he was so excited that he jumped up and said to me something that took me by surprise.

In my workshops, I’m always building rapport and keeping the attendees engaged and interested. One technique I use is giving people a high five when they say something positive or contribute by answering a question.

Well….

This young man jumped up and said, that answer Paul, deserves a high five, and he rushed over to me and delivered his high five.

That type of behavior is demonstrating this point number 3. Jumping up and giving me a high five is an action of an extrovert.

We want to start acting (behaving) like the new personality trait we want. In this case, it’s acting, and behaving, like an extrovert.

Once you know the new personality trait, actions and behavior, you want, you need to practice, practice, practice, at every opportunity you have.

I teach my clients who are part of my Executive Coaching Service this very same thing and I’m always reminding them to practice what they want to experience in their life.

I’m now saying the same thing to you. Start practicing the behavior you want to develop as part of your personality. Start to practice what you want.

Obstacles That May Get in The Way

There are 4 clouds that could possibly get in the way that stops us from taking action to practice the behavior that we want to display and enjoy in our lives.

These 4 clouds are:

• Negative Thinking
• Negative Emotions
• Inner Conflict
• Limiting Beliefs

I’ve just completed a 6-day Leadership & Emotional Intelligence Training where we remove these 4 clouds and replace them with, Positive Thinking, Positive Emotions, Wholeness, and Empowering Beliefs.

The transformation in our attendees is so obvious, you can’t ignore them. Their family, friends & colleagues all comment on the positive and obvious transformation. Clients who have attended our Leadership Training will tell you the same thing.

If you are plagued by one or more of these 4 clouds and you want them gone forever, Schedule a Call, and let’s talk about it. Our next training starts on the 11th of November.

Your job now is to get to work and practice, practice, practice the new personality traits you want to experience and enjoy.

Paul Simos is an accomplished Executive Life Coach, Health Coach & Certified Trainer.
He has a fundamental belief about his clients which frames how they work together i.e. they already have everything they need to achieve success. His role as a coach is to stimulate and challenge his clients to unlock their successful beliefs, skills, and behavior patterns.

Free Masterclass Training, How To Get More Successful Outcomes In Your Professional & Personal Relationships… By Saying “NO” (The Right Way)…